Joe: Boy Wonder

We spent a wonderful, relaxing weekend with our friends in Huntsville, Chad and Jessica.

I won't chronicle the weekend hour by hour because....well...I like y'all, and I want you to keep reading my blog. Besides, 6 hours in the pool and 6 hours of "Catch Phrase" can tend to get a bit monotonous on paper. I will, however, show you some photos of the amazing things Joe did this weekend. "Vacation Joe" tends to be more adventurous and less ill-mannered than "Everyday Joe."

I'll start with the single most amazing photo I have ever taken.

Are you ready?
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I mean, seriously, how amazing is this?

In the spirit of adventure, Joe ate sushi on his own accord.

The kid won't eat ketchup, but he will throw down on sushi.

He also ate a big chunk of tofu.

Okay, he ate 3 big chunks of tofu.

If you knew the stock that this child came from on one side, your jaw would hit the floor.


Joe also had great fun with the Sanders' dog.





We had a great weekend with our dear friends. What is it about people that don't have kids that makes them want to absolutely wear your kid into the ground? I'm not sure, but whatever it is, I like it. Because of Chad (and Jason), Joe was ready for bed at about 6:15.

UAB- A Plethora of Fashion Faux Pas

Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape, or form an authority on fashion. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty crappy at dressing myself and my style is relatively plain.

That being said, my eyes have been opened to the.....creativity of some of my fellow students.

Recently, my friend Rachel has opened my eyes to the revival of plaid. Maybe it really is "back" or maybe I'm just noticing it because it has been pointed out to me, but GRACIOUS it's everywhere! I just can't seem to wrap my mind around outfits like this:


Go ahead, take it all in.

My friend Lianne also recently blogged about her distaste in public pajamas. However, I must say, if you've been to college (or walmart in Alabama) you have certainly witnessed this fashion flop. In fact, at UAB no one blinks at PJ pants or "house shoes."

Today, I witnessed the mother of all fashion nightmares.
These....things....put plaid and fringe girl to SHAME!


I don't even know what to call these things, but apparently, they have their own website.

I mean, what else can you really say about these? I laughed (silently of course). I cringed.

Now I think I might need some.

A Feminist Cringe

I came across this gem at my favorite thrift store today:

The Bride Game.

Notice how it's only acceptable for ages 8-14. After 14, it's time to start the hunt for a REAL husband.

PFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT!!!

Do you know what I wanted to be when I was a little girl?
Not a bride, an American Gladiator.

For real.

I'm only sorry I didn't open that box to see what was inside. Probably dusty old dreams and aspirations.

Aside from that little dose of misogynism, I have been finding some pretty great stuff there lately.


This serving platter is just the right combination of Mawmaw and fun.


I love this little milk glass pedestal bowl. I am still on the lookout for milk glass platters and cake pedestals


Hobnail milk glass vase full of knockout roses from my bushes.


Smaller milk glass bud vase and fleur de lis metal bucket. I'm thinking of planting something in that bucket, but I'm happy with it in the foyer for now.


Our thrift store offers a WEALTH of randomness, but I rarely ever leave there without something awesome. I've gotten all my shorts there this year. I basically needed a whole new wardrobe from going from a size 12 to size 6 so I hit up the thrift store because I LOVE a bargain. In my humble opinion, Ann Taylor Loft, Gap, or Old Navy shorts for $3.00 are a great bargain.

If you're ever on my side of town, please plan on going with me. I promise I won't make you dress up as a bride.

A Few Things You Should Know About Me

1. I've always been cool

I guess I always knew I had a bright future.


2. And I've always been sassy.

That's probably my last time in a 2 piece!

Yep, still sassy.

I guess some things never change!

If This Happens Again, I'm Moving Out!

Today, I experienced a meltdown of EPIC proportions, for which I was grossly ill-prepared.
By ill-prepared, I mean I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

You see, Joe doesn't typically have these types of meltdowns. His unpleasantness doesn't usually ebb and flow, rather, it comes in a steady stream to which I have become accustomed over the last 6 and a half years. But this time was different. THIS time, Joe had a blowout of tears, snot, and regrettable hatred.

Why?

Did I take away all of his toys? No.
Did I feed him his least favorite meal of hotdogs? NO
Did I force him to walk 10 miles in the Alabama heat? NO

I asked him to dust. Yes, that's right, dust.

Joe generally likes does not loathe chores. He (usually) always likes to "help" and I happily oblige his wishes.

This time however, he didn't ask me to help, I asked him, which apparently changes everything. Even the promise of Sno-cone truck money ($2) couldn't sway this child, whose mood swing rivaled that of a caged Siberian tiger who has just been told he's getting sterilized.

After a swift spanking, some "nap" time, and a discussion of why God says you should treat your parents nicely, Joe came around. He did his chores of dusting, wiping the bathroom counter and putting away the top rack of clean dishes from the dishwasher and happily accepted his payment.

Now it's raining so we probably won't see the snow cone truck today.

Next time a meltdown of these biblical proportions occurs, I will be ready. By ready, I mean I will direct all complaints to Jason.

P.S. At least I can be thankful that it wasn't as bad as this meltdown!

PETA is going to loooooove me for this one.

Disclaimer: I can't stand PETA or anything they stand for. I don't condone abusing anyone or anything, but I find it disgusting that some people value the life of an animal over that of a human.

With that said, let me tell y'all about my weekend! Friday morning we headed south to visit my Mama 'n' them. Friday afternoon was spent visiting all of my wonderful Grandparents.

Friday evening, we ate dinner at Tokyo, a Japanese/Hibachi place in Fairhope. The highlight of the night was Joe catching a flying scrambled egg in his mouth! Where was I with the video camera?!? Then, we spent (literally) 4 hours at the new (and amazing) Bass Pro Shop in Spanish Fort. Joe was relatively well behaved and had some spending money. What did he buy with his money you ask? I left all the options open and he RETURNED A TOY TO THE SHELF so he could buy a bag of buffalo jerky and a camo visor. What can I say, we are a family with a high jerky consumption.

Saturday began with a trip to the Urgent Care facility because Jason's hair hurt Jason was having as-yet-undiagnosed pain on the side of his head and in his ear. After paying the $25 copay, the Doctor sent us to Walgreens to buy a bottle of $6 over the counter drops.

The day picked up when we headed for the beach around lunch time. The boys fished on the newly opened Gulf State Park fishing pier while my Mom and I slipped into sloth mode. Jason and Adam caught a few hardtails, ale wives, saltwater catfish, and these little suckers:

The Remora, or as Joe calls it, shark sucker. These are the fellas that attach to a shark by suction and basically live the life of a mooching, lazy boyfriend.

But......the high point of the day................was THIS:

MY DADDY CAUGHT A SHARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He believes it was an Atlantic Shark about 5 feet in length.

He was a pier celebrity for a hot second!!

Here's what stunk though, we had to release it (along with more than a few dollars worth of tackle). There is no shark fishing allowed on this pier so we couldn't even pull him up.
My friends, we are just not good at catch and release fishing. If it's edible, it's usually fileted and consumed with hush puppies. And yes, sharks are edible.

PETA, you're welcome!

Greek Food with a Greek Person?! My Head is Spinning!

Today was a paradoxical kind of day. Have you ever eaten Greek food with a Greek Person? One that can actually say Gyros without sounding like she has peanut butter in her mouth?

Well I have, and her name is Rachel!

We also met Lianne who, although not Greek, is pretty amazing! Today is her birthday and she is turning *coughmumble* years old! We ate at Nabeel's in Homewood with 4 kids. Yes, that's right, 4 kids and I didn't say a single swear!

I didn't take any pictures at lunch because, well, both hands were full of food at all times!

After we ate lunch, we decided it would be appropriate to take the kids to the park across the street so we could sweat out feta and onions they could play.

Joe found an awesome caterpillar.

He scaled it before the gate had even closed behind us.


He was on top of the world for a hot second.


He was nice enough to share the Caterpillar with Lianne's son and his new friend Luke.


He quickly moved on to the swings. Yes, he is swinging upside down with no hands. How do I tolerate these kinds of shenanigans? I'm not sure but they don't even phase me anymore!


This is Rachel's daughter Ali. She is precious and very serious so I'm going to train her to do eyebrow tricks like me.

Somehow I didn't get a picture of Lianne's daughter Emma (likely because my face and hair were melting off), but rest assured she was precious too. She had awesome hot pink glasses that made me totally jealous.

Lianne, Rachel, I'm SO glad I met both of y'all and I just love hanging out!


Until next time, I'll just twitter y'all 6000 times a day!