Dear Topamax,
You and I know each other quite well these days, but alas, our friendship must come to an end.
Trust me, this hurts me more than it hurts you. What's it been now? Six? Seven months? I know I wasn't always as gracious as I should have been, but Topamax, do you know how frustrating it is for an English major to forget words? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I know you were only doing your job, but blanking out in the middle of a sentence is quite embarrassing. Words like inexpensive, or catastrophe sholdn't flee my mind, I'm pretty darn smart. Aw, I know you were just messing with me. Do we even need to get into the fuzzy mustache/goatee combo feeling you gave me? What about my foot going to sleep for 2 hours? I thought not.
We had some good times though, didn't we Topamax? Like that time you and I went SIXTEEN STRAIGHT DAYS without a headache! Wow, that was awesome huh? How about how I pay $35.00 a month just to bring you home with me? I'm a good person for that. I always contained my swear words to a whisper while picking you up. I think I'll devote that $35.00 a month to something frivolous, at least until I figure out how to get over you.
I never tried to hide our relationship, I always disclosed you to my doctors. Therein lies the problem, Topamax. According to my doctors, you will scramble my eggs. What if I want another baby? Don't be selfish Topamax, you know you also cause a decreased I.Q. in children of Mothers who take you while pregnant. You can't deny that one, I read it in the New York Times. Well Topamax, only a few more days and then it's goodbye. I really hope I can live without you. I won't come crawling back, I can't. You're amazing, but like that sleazy guy on the bachelor, you're just not worth the risk. I must go lie down now, I feel a headache coming on. I'll miss you Topamax.
Yours truly,
Rachel Robinson
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Good Luck! I have been on it twice, once a few years back for 2 1/2 years (400mg a day) and again now. It is a hella drug to take because of the side effects and I don't think the neuro could have talked me into it again for migraines (I had a seizure this time). LOL Topamax bringing strangers together one blog at a time *g*.
ReplyDeleteNot that you asked and I am assuming from your post you know this but DO NOT stop taking it cold (which I did the first time) makes coming off of it all that much worse (depending on your dose of course).
sybil
OOOH! Can you send any extras this way? June over at Bye Bye Pie has lost so much weight on this! I might seriously consider faking migraines for the benefits. I lost my mind and memory after having kids anyway!
ReplyDeleteTry forgetting the word 'calf'...yeah, that was me...here is the entire conversation.
ReplyDeleteME: Honey, look at the....'baby cow'. (it really was gorgeous coloring on it)
HIM: That is pretty.
(silence for a few miles down the road)
HIM: Did you really say, 'baby cow'?
ME: (bursting into laughter) Yeah, I was kinda hoping you didn't catch that.