An open letter to my immune system

Dear Sweet Immune System,

I take care of you, don't I? I give you vitamins. I feed you the best foods. I don't give you junk food. Is that what you want? Should I give you some candy bars? I shelter you from extreme conditions and I don't sit on strange toilet seats. Immune system, I always wash my hands. Basically I cater to your every whim. Now, I know you haven't taken a vacation in a while. I know you worked overtime this Flu season and I didn't even get you a Flu shot, but don't I give you eight hours of sleep EVERY SINGLE NIGHT without exception? And I never, ever make you slog through alcohol. I thought we had a very healthy relationship you and I, like Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman...bless them, they have been together so long. But Immune System, yesterday you failed me miserably. You left me and I am begging for your swift return. Please come home.

Yours faithfully,
Rachel Robinson

Let me set the stage for you. My legs were shaved. I had a moderate tan. The weather was a mild 73 degrees. The shorts were out of the drawer.

I had the best of intentions.

It would only be reasonable that my dear sweet immune system would revolt and stage a severe anaphylactic response to my new tanning lotion.

I look like a LEPER. I would love to show y'all a picture, but I'm afraid it's just too disturbing for my precious lil' site.

I am going to have myself a cortisone shot and a good cry tomorrow. Meanwhile, if you see my immune system anywhere, catch it and throw it in the mail for me. I'll return the postage. Thanks.